Richard Griffin offers transformational coaching for your life, relationships, and career.
You already have the answers you need. Are you ready to find them?
Relationship Restart!
Renew your relationship with a shared vision created by both of you, for both of you!
through a science-based process to restart your relationship and break the patterns that get you stuck
If your marriage or relationship feels like:
A constant source of tension and frustration
One or both of you feel hopeless and exhausted
Nothing you’ve tried has worked
You’ve been in couple’s therapy for months or years and almost nothing has changed
Simple conversations or requests turn into endless arguments
Sex is rare and unsatisfying
You disagree about money, how to raise the children, where to vacation …
How did you end up here when you started off so well?
there is a way forward.
What if instead of bickering and fighting you could …
Get on the same page so you can stop having the same fight over and over again
Turn fights into opportunities for growth
Handle arguments constructively
Have a relationship roadmap to handle the ups and downs that life throws your way
Act like a team that has each other’s backs so you can live in harmony and reach your goals
You are best friends again and love spending time together
All this is possible when you learn how relationships really work — and I mean really work according to neuroscience.
Hi, I’m Richard Griffin, a relationship coach who has been supporting couples with their relationships since
2014.
I grew up in an extremely dysfunctional family and subsequently struggled in my relationships until I discovered Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy. It was such a profound shift in my thinking about relationships that I became certified in his method. The relational skills I learned have changed my life in profound ways. I understand the value of healthy boundaries, self-esteem, and the power and beauty of a relationship that my partner and I consciously negotiate and work together to create.
That’s what I want for you, too, and I am excited to help even more couples with my Relationship Restart Program.
You’ll learn the skills that you and your partner need to renew your relationship based on a shared vision of what partnership is uniquely like for the two of you.
5 Steps to Stop the Chaos and Restart Your Relationship
The Relationship Restart program is based on Terry Real’s proven Relational Life process. This is not traditional couple’s counseling. It is a science-based, 12-session, experiential learning method for discovering how you and your partner are stuck in a loop, how to get out of it, and how to use new relational skills so both of you are proud of and delighted by your rejuvenated relationship.
Step 1: Discovery and Diagnosis
We’ll work together to discover the unique relationship dance you and your partner do that keeps you stuck in an endless cycle of increasing disharmony. This step is usually completed in the first two sessions. Once we’ve uncovered it, I will lay out the roadmap for your return to harmony.
Step 2: Stop the Damage!
Like it or not, we all learn our relationship skills growing up in our family of origin. These childhood skills may have served us well and kept us alive, but they are not what we need if we want to have a respectful, loving, adult relationship. In this step, you’ll learn the essential skills you and your partner need to stop driving yourselves farther and farther apart.
You’ll discover:
The two brain states that are key to understanding how relationships really work.
How to get out of your reactive, survival brain state and back into your calm, patient, and rational integrated-brain state.
The Five Losing Strategies that drive partners apart.
The importance of Healthy Leave-Taking, so you can avoid reacting and instead help yourself and your partner return to your integrated-brain states.
Step 3: From Codependent to Interdependent
Healthy boundaries and self-esteem are essential for relationship success. Without healthy boundaries, you won’t be able to protect yourself from your partner’s unwelcome behaviors, nor will you be able to stop your own undesired behaviors. Without healthy self-esteem, you’ll be in a needy, codependent relationship.
You’ll discover:
How to have a healthy self-protective boundary so your partner’s unwelcome behaviors are no longer so disruptive to your mental state.
How to have a strong, self-containing boundary to protect your partner from your undesired behaviors.
What unhealthy self-esteem looks and feels like, and how to come down from grandiose behaviors and up from toxic shame behaviors.
The freedom and openness that come with an interdependent rather than a codependent relationship.
Bonus: These skills work with everyone, not just your partner. All your relationships will change for the better.
Step 4: Turning Complaint into Request
Most people think complaining about what they aren’t getting will inspire their partner to see the truth and then give them what they want. That’s not how it works.
You’ll discover:
How to use the Feedback Wheel to ask for what you want in a way that has the best chance of succeeding.
Learn what to do when you don’t get what you ask for.
This is the essential skill for creating the relationship you and your partner really want.
Step 5: The Five Winning Strategies
We’ll bring everything together so you can learn the strategies you and your partner need to return to a loving, respectful, and flourishing relationship.
You’ll discover the five winning strategies:
Ask for What you Want
Speak to Make Things Better
Listen to Understand
Respond with Generosity
Cherish What You Have
WHAT’S INCLUDED?
12 sessions of couple’s coaching
Up to 4 optional individual sessions for you and your partner to use among you as you wish (within the program schedule)
Replace up to two individual sessions with family constellation sessions
For couples with children, the training will also focus on family dynamics and how to teach your children healthy relationship skills, so they hit the ground running when they enter a committed relationship
All the learning materials are yours to keep
Email support as needed
IS THIS FOR YOU?
If you’re headed for divorce and want to get back on track, this is for you!
If you miss the early days and are willing to put in the work, I’d love to have you experience a great relationship again!
WANT TO LEARN MORE?
“Richard Griffin helped us move from the brink of divorce to a place of recognizing our deep love for each other. His coaching taught us to love ourselves better and, in turn, transform our relationship with each other. We also learned how to revamp how we communicate. Best of all, Richard helped us realize these changes in a mere three months! There were times when he shocked us with his frankness, but his honest appraisal of the situation was exactly what we needed to shake things up and get un-stuck. If you both fully commit to three months of work with Richard, you should reap the benefits in multiples.”
FAQs
Is this therapy?
This is not traditional couples therapy. It is based on Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy, in which I am certified. While I have trained in multiple therapeutic models, I implement them using a coaching mindset. Terry Real calls much of what he does in RLT “micro-coaching,” which is to say there is a lot of teaching and modeling of how relationships work. I also use tools and techniques from the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy developed by Ellyn Bader and Dr. Peter Pearson.
What will we learn?
Please review the 5 Steps above. You will learn the basic neuroscience behind how relationships work and you will learn the tools and skills that will help you create the kind of relationship that works for both of you.
Can I do this myself or does my partner need to do it, too?
The program is designed for couples working together with me. If you work with me individually, I suggest you start with several coaching sessions rather than the full Relationship Restart program.
What if my partner isn’t interested?
Encourage them to join you for a free discovery session. I can answer their questions and explain what’s in it for them. If they still aren’t interested, I can work with you individually, but a healthy relationship requires a willingness by both partners to do the work of co-creating a better relationship.
How long until we see results?
Most couples see their hopes rise after the first session, and you should start seeing positive changes during the first month. If you don’t see significant changes in your relationship after three months, you should give serious consideration to working with someone else or reconsidering your relationship. Most couples will need some follow-on sessions, but the heaviest lifting is done during the Relationship Restart! program.
What’s a Family Constellation?
An individual family constellation is a way of looking at your family of origin using cut-out footprints placed on the floor to represent family members (parents, siblings, etc.). Viewing relationships spatially engages the hippocampus and helps you get in touch with childhood feelings and experiences that reside in your subconscious mind. The purpose is to look at what happened back then with your adult eyes today instead of being locked into your childhood memories. This can free you from limiting beliefs and relationship patterns that interfere with healthy adult relationships.
How much does it cost?
If you make a single payment, the cost is $3,600. You can also pay in three monthly installments of $1,320. You can pay by Venmo, Zelle, or credit card. Payments by credit card will incur a 3% surcharge.
Do you take insurance?
I am a coach and do not participate with any insurance plans. I am happy to provide invoices that you can submit if you think your insurance will cover coaching services.
How can we get started?
Book a free 45-minute discovery session to get all of your questions answered and to schedule your first two sessions.